As a nurse, I have heard a doctor tell an old lady in a hospital bed that she would not be able to return to her home, and would need residential care. I saw her look of horror, even fear. As a health visitor, I visited many residential homes. All were adequate, most were good and a few were excellent. As an old lady of 90, I am now living in a residential home.

Reasons

No one really expects to reach a point when living on one's 'own' becomes a burden, even a danger, but, too many accept the insecurity, the loneliness, the effort involved in just keeping alive. Each of us has different needs which would mean for each one a comfortable happy old age. Are they being met?

Why would I leave my comfortable convenient little flat, which was near the shops, the bus stop, the surgery?

Firstly, increasing blindness, involving problems of shopping, cooking and correspondence. Dealing with domestic hazards including a burst boiler and a plague of ants. Loneliness, frustrations and humiliations at needing help, which was not always available, for threading needles, reading letters, etc. The final straw was an illness which necessitated the frequent visits of devoted friends. 'Is this independence?' I asked myself. I spent a few days visiting local residential homes.

Choosing

Once you have decided on residential care, the next decision is locality, perhaps near family or among friends. A letter to Social Services will bring you a list of local Homes and telephone numbers. A telephone call will bring you a list of amenities, price, etc and probably a photograph. Some or all of the following will be on offer:

·        En suite bathroom, probably with bath included.

·        A garden.

·        Nearby shopping or transport.

·        Privacy if desired. The option of room service for meals.

·        Entertainment, outings, etc.

·        Sample menus.